Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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