my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
