yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
