I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
