I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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