marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
