Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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