i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
organizing the empties. That sober.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
