You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
