i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
