super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
