If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
