she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
