Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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