I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
