"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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