He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
