i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
