My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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