woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
