Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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