Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
