South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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