I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
