The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize