Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So vagazzling was a success
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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