I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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