Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bring me that man meat
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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