Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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