okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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