I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
