and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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