had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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