Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
