how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
