He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
