sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
