Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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