i just wanna soil my oats bro
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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