I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
