is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
