I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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