Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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