Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
