Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
