some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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