ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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