just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
