Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
