hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
