Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

(661): View more from California

Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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(207): View more from Maine

There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

(207): View more from Maine

OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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(703): View more from Virginia

the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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(317): View more from Indiana

my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.

Fav 0 758 302
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall

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