I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
