no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
