the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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