Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
