This dress was meant to end up on your floor
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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