Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize