it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Alive.
So much puke
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize