party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
