walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
