I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
