today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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