Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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