What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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