Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
