escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
