That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
