So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
