Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
