I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
