the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
