...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
