I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
