I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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