I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
