I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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