he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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