i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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