I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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